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♡

Happy birthday, Rose :)

22 years old! That’s 8,036 days, or 694,310,400 seconds.

Fancy a quiz?

Question 1

How many times has your heart beat approximately?

Correct!

Reason: By the age of 22, the average heart has been extraordinarily busy. A typical resting heart rate is about 60–80 beats per minute, so let’s take a comfortable middle value of ~70 beats per minute.

70 beats per minute
≈ 4,200 beats per hour
≈ 100,800 beats per day
≈ 36.8 million beats per year

Multiply that by 22 years and you get roughly 800 million heartbeats.

Question 2

How many kilometres have you moved (again, approximately)?

Correct!

Reason: This is a delightfully sneaky question, because while we can calculate some of the distances you’ve travelled, we can’t realistically add them all together — so the only truly correct answer is “We will never know.”

Here’s why:
The Earth orbits the Sun at about 30 km per second. Over 22 years, that alone adds up to roughly 21 billion kilometres.

Meanwhile, the entire Solar System is orbiting the centre of the Milky Way at around 828,000 km/h, carrying you vastly farther still.

And the galaxy itself is moving through space
 which is where the maths starts to resemble guesswork scribbled on a napkin.

So while 21 billion kilometres sounds outrageously large (and it is), it still ignores several layers of cosmic motion. The real number is so big — and so dependent on reference points — that pinning it down precisely is basically impossible.

Question 3

How many times have you replaced your entire body?

Correct!

Reason: Who is Rose? Are you still the same person you were 22 years ago? Literally speaking, maybe not! Your body is far less permanent than it feels. Through metabolism — the constant intake of food, water, and air, and the equally constant shedding of waste — most of the atoms that make up “you” are gradually swapped out.

Scientists estimate that a large majority of your atoms are replaced roughly every 7–10 years, though it varies wildly by tissue:
- The atoms in the air you breathe may be gone within seconds.
- Much of the water in your body turns over in days or weeks.
- Skin renews itself about every month.
- Some cells in your bones can last years.
- A few specialised neurons may stay with you for most of your life.

Add that together over 22 years, and you’ve likely gone through the equivalent of two to three near-total atomic refreshes.

So
 who is “you,” really? If every physical particle has been gradually exchanged, identity clearly isn’t just about raw material. It’s about patterns — your memories, personality, habits, relationships, and the continuously evolving structure of your brain.

Not sure how that might’ve made you feel. Sorry about that!

Anyways...

Let’s try to do something more wholesome.

~ Timeline ~

Jon and Rose: the beginnings.

A timeline of some of our most important moments in first year.

Our first picture together

First picture

I still remember meeting you when you came into the kitchen in that hoodie. I thought to myself “Whoa! She’s pretty!” And we got together five months after that... still can’t believe my luck.

(Fun fact: that picture is the second time in my life I’d worn a suit!)

Uhm
 what’s going on?

Cutting Dan's hair

To this day I have absolutely no idea what possessed you and Lydia to cut Dan’s hair, but I respect it.

Singing Olivia Rodrigo...

Olivia Pic

Lydia and you were absolutely vibing
 all because I said that I liked TWO songs. And then look at me, supporting my glorious team.

Excited to play Ticket to Ride

Excited

Look at us. Having had a nice tea, we were all so excited to play Jakub’s game. We didn’t know what we were in for.

What were you doing in that bathroom?

Bathroom

This is possibly the main highlight.

Uhmmmm


No comment.

What kickstarted everything


I still remember this video with a mix of disgust and pride.

And what a prank it was


Prank

Possibly the funniest prank I’ve ever been the target (victim?) of.

Had to include all three...

Crazy 1 Crazy 2 Crazy 3

Like, honestly, what is going on here.

This isn’t even a key moment

Funny

It just cracks me up.

Your first visit to Bilbao!

Bilbao

So many things happening at the same time in a single picture.

My first Easter with your family!

Easter

I was at an absolute loss, I am pretty sure half of the things in that basket were given to me out of pity.

When I look up to the sky
 I see you.

Sky

I know: cheesy as fuck. But a good way of finishing up a great year.

♡

I love you.

You love me. (Hopefully)

But to demonstrate JUST how much, you're going to have to play a game!

Back in Butler, I had to chase you
 but what if you had to chase me now?

(Use Arrow Keys on Desktop / Tap to start if Mobile)

Well done!

I always thought you could get me! You definitely run faster than me anyway.

Now, my coding skills are good. But they’re not THAT good and I really want to go to bed. So we’re going to go for a stroll down memory lane with some of our early conversations.

A haunted care home...

J
And the logical explanation is that there were ghosts there?
R
I think not. Now Jon
do you think that any of these old people can run? Loud running. And we heard running upstairs. Both 18/19. We were completely responsible. 18 old people. Just us. And I was in with Amelia my friend from school. Winter and dark. It was like 7:30 at night.
R
Another time. And we both looked at each other terrified. And then the handle of the door went down. And the curtain ruffled and blew a little. Windows closed (no wind). The curtains were shut. The door was closed.
J
Come on you don't really believe that. Hahahahahahahahq
R
But 100% haunted. I’m gonna creep myself out I’m in a dark room now. Like absolutely. That place was haunted.
J
Ghost. Oh ok. I'm sorry what
R
Ehhh. 100% ghost. Ghost. Dead person as you’re aware. That was awful my lord. Cleaning diarrhoea. Literally got the worse things.
J
Urgh. Hahahahahhahaha anything else
R
It became my little job. More than once too. Damn. I look back on the things I did there. That was fucking strange.
J
Urgh
R
Reacted 😂 to your message. I mean it was basically a condom.
J
I DONT KNOW WHY DO YOU THINK I WAS STARTLED
R
God that’s disturbing. Why tf would I be putting an actual condom on an old man đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł
J
I didn't read that. A pissing device
R
That’s really funny hahahahah
J
Ohhhha
R
Hahahahhahahaha. Hahahahaha
J
I have water in my nose now. I was drinking when I read that
R
Scarring. Don’t think I’ve mentioned that before. That just came to mind. Did I ever tell you about the time I had to put a condom like pissing device on an old man in the care home

The laser pointing misunderstanding

J
Rose help me. I heard a door being open, and I flashed the laser at the kitchen door thinking it was Evelyn. And then a fucking college officer appears. And gets flashed by the laser. 💀💀💀💀 I don't think he noticed thi. Tho
R
đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł you muppet. â˜șâ˜ș
J
Stfu.

A not-so-romantic gift?

R
I need to know what this thing is. What is the rubber band thingymajig.
J
Rose. It's so fucking stupid. Now when I tell you youre just going to be THATS SO STUPID WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. So please, let it go?
R
Yes but what kinda thing is it.
J
If you really want to, I'll tell you what's about. But I wouldn't want to do that.
R
I don’t want to take you feel bad tho. But I’m stressed about what it could be.
J
There is no reason whatsoever. I repeat: ITS STUPID. I won't dw.
R
But what kinda stupid is it because the context of it is what is stressing me out lol.
J
It's me stupid. It's like why would you do that it doesn't make any sense.
R
What kinda you stupid tho. Right. Is it some romantic thing idk how to read u.
J
For the love of god. You're obviously stressing out.
R
Insert gorka saying “no shit Sherlock”.
J
You guessed what my birthday present to you was going to be, I just didn't want you to think I bought it AFTER you said it. HAPPY? Now that I think about it I see why you'd think that lol.
R
What do you mean what birthday present? Yes I was mega stressed.
J
Now that's something I wouldn't want to tell you right. HAHAHAHAHAHA GOD.
R
No but I kinda need to know. Because idk if we’re thinking of the same thing.
J
It's not anything crazy or rOmAnTiC. NO WE'RE NOT.
R
Because I can only think of one thing you jokingly said you’d get me. And Jesus.
J
I actually considered it. But I decided against it.
R
Okay thank fuck.

Little panties

J
My mistake. Now it makes sense. Yes.
R
Little panties. Not little panties. It means little strips. My lord.
J
Ok now I see it.
R
no stop it. HAHAH. it wasn’t even right. LITTLE PANTIES.
J
I knew it was something similar. Faja is corset. No. Oh wait. Spanish, thanks.
R
Sorry that’s too funny. What is your language seriously. Hahahahahahahahahahahhahaha.
J
IT'S WHAT FAJITA MEANS.
R
That’s one of the funniest things you’ve ever said. Wtaf. Little panties.
J
😭😭😭
R
They actually are nice tbh.
J
Hahahahahahahahahahah
R
One moment. Still crying from the little panties comment sorry.

The Scouse Lesson

R
Get ye bally on lad plod on da way yeno da. Heavy’s good. Heavy means good.
J
Idk what heavy means. Hahahahaha.
R
That’s heavy that. Would be like. That’s good that.
J
Oh ok. I was like wtf. Hahahah.
R
Hahahahahah. I wasn’t calling you heavy. Please no.
J
Like do you say my man or me man? Do you not have that thing from the great vowel shift.
R
Evy la yeno da. Plod gon reach u ye myman.
J
Did you just called me heavy.
R
Get ye bally on lad plod on da way yeno da.
J
Except for plod and bally which I had to look up, I understood everything. Plod police and bally some kind of mask right. Or am I getting this completely wrong. That'd be funny.
R
My man is more scouse. Accurate. That’s correct hahaha. A Bally is a balaclava. What robbers wear.
J
Wtf hahahahahahah. Huh that's interesting.
R
Yep hahahahaha. Some scouse scallies wear ballys and ride dirtbikes.

Military Intelligence: Section 5

R
MI5 were out for you. It was like someone had murdered someone. At first like they were quite indentse hahahaha. I’ve diffused them a bit. No.
J
â˜ș
R
That’s okay. And they were like we will be.
J
Probably for the best for now hahahaha.
R
You got to be nice about this one because I do really like him. Boys. But I did say. Not yet. Not yet no hahahaha. Ava was finding it amusing.
J
Oh they don't know my name hahahahah.
R
Gonna let this one marinate boys. I was like nope. Who is it. Mario? Is it Alejandro. Tell us his name. Rose what’s his name. They kept saying things like.
J
I'd probably would've done the same thing hahahahaha. But let's be honest. Damn right I hate that. That was fast. Back home already??
R
lol made me giggle because you would’ve been like wtf. Sorry. But they kept pulling up the Mexicans from camp and thinking it was you because you u we’re Spanish hahahahahahaha. You’re gonna hate this. The boys were in full stalk mode. Are we both following us both properly.
J
Hahahahahahahhaa.
R
They were looking at my Mexican camp mates lol.
J
Is that the stereotypical Spanish name or what. 💀 Alejandro.
♡

Happy 22nd Birthday!

Hope you enjoyed this little digital gift.

Love you always.